I’m sorry I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m busy cutting open Fruit Gushers and squeezing all of the goo into a glass so I can take a shot of it because that has always been a dream of mine and now that I’m an adult with a job, I finally have the means to make it a reality. Please leave your name and number after the beep.
there was this fucking guy in my math class who was rly annoying and always told me to “stop killing trees” because i used a lot of paper for sketching and i’m p sure the whole class hated him and one day he was fussing me and i literally just said real loud “can someone please tell the goddamn lorax to shut the hell up” and my math teacher looked like he was about to fucking lose it
”This is my favorite photo in the world - me and Linus, born to a dairy cow and ordered to be killed when the farmer saw he was a male (and thus useless in the dairy industry). A compassionate individual intervened, and he was brought to a sanctuary. I met him when he was a few days old and 60 pounds, and he would always try to sit on my lap. Today, 7 years young and 1500 pounds, he still tries to sit on my lap.”
- Colleen Patrick-Goudreau
(via violentbaudelaire)He has a giant collar
This is adorable.
the collar is gettin to me YA BIG CUTIE